Some Mama-thoughts on Schooling Paul

ie, the one in which I reveal my schizophrenic-like back-n-forthing full of but on the other hand...

Paul is 5. He turned five on January 25th, and he's busy! And fast, loud, strong, clever, and thoughtful with (arguably) healthy doses of selfishness, bossiness, and rudeness. Dylan and I (and a slew of other people!) love him dearly and want what's right and best for him. 

In turning 5, Paul has hit "school-age". What path Dylan and I will choose for him in terms of schooling hadn't been much on my mind but has felt daunting when it's at the forefront of my mind, like in the past, say, 4ish months. There doesn't seem to be this perfect or even expected follow this path option for us, and it seems that for the first time in my parenting journey, some one decision I make will have major ramifications on my son and our family.

In general, there are three options for school, which will start in August: homeschool, public school, or private (Catholic) school. The problem arises when I start comparing the pros and cons of any particular situation because it feels like an apples-vs-oranges thing; I'm not comparing this school's curriculum with that one's, rather this school's proximity to home vs that one's values. Those are conflicting issues, and, in the end, Dylan and I have to prioritize what's important; but it's that prioritizing that seems nearly impossible. 

During the month of February, we toured 3 area schools: St. Rosalie School in Harvey, the International School of Louisiana - Spanish Immersion around the corner, and St. Andrew's School in Algiers. The first quickly knocked itself out of our running for a number of reasons but mainly because there's nothing it can do for Paul that St. Andrew's couldn't, which is significantly closer and a bit more "us" feeling. So our options have become: homeschool, ISL, or St. Andrew's

Let the back-n-forthing begin:

In defense of homeschooling, I want the challenge of doing it successfully. I think it could be really fun, and I think it's by far the best option for our family life in terms of both daily and annual schedules, plus keeping the family together for the highest majority of time. We'd be free to do so much and so many other non-school related things together. I read two Catholic, homeschooling moms' blogs who've sold me on its functionality, practicality, and ability to produce well-rounded kids who are considerate of and respect their siblings and family life. Dylan and I also kept meeting and liking grown-up friends in MN who had been homeschooled as children, and godmother to our sons, Colleen, is one of them! She and I have been ticking along side of each other this year in the homeschool pre-school, and I would just love for our families to go in on this together. But on the other hand... I think about how I want the challenge of doing it successfully, and I want our family schedule to look and feel this certain way, but is it what's best for Paul? I reflect on how he (positively) handles my teaching him a new skill but immediately reflect on my attitude or negative tone of voice while I was doing it. Think "I plan all these fun things to do together, but you go and..."-type stuff. I think about how control-y I am and wonder if I would give him the freedom to do work his way. Or about how minimalist I am (as regards stuff in the house or "school supplies") and wonder if he wouldn't be better served in a classroom full of manipulatives and art supplies. I also think about our living space at home and wonder if he wouldn't be better served in a classroom dedicated to having "centers" or nooks where writing happens here, reading here, circle time here, etc. Then, I think about having Ada-led time while Paul's away from 8-3 as a positive, usually, but even that gets me flip-flopping. 

When I imagine the space I described just above with the "centers" or sending him to school at all, I picture the two kindergarten classrooms we toured at St. Andrew's, honestly. They were everything I wish I could have for him at home ... in a perfect world. The morning greeting on the giant notepad, the dry erase board, the small tables & chairs with his name on them and a specific place for all of his supplies and papers, a hook for his backpack, the ____ nook, the giant rosary made of paper dots on the wall - swoon. I love the idea of his sitting at a table for 4+ kids (instead of individual desks, ick) with a smiley teacher who's seen thousands of 5 year olds grow, knows just where to set that expectation bar and wants to spend her day with my boy, teaching him how to read, about our faith, and respect. But on the other hand ... that should be my job, right? And I don't want him shimmied about through the day from this enrichment or that (library, art, etc) and to his 30-min lunch in a huge room and see him only get a half-hour of outside playtime a day. But, then, I'm so hard on him, so hard =/, and maybe his teacher would appreciate his littleness better. Besides, Dylan and I would really love having Catholic peers, perhaps even friends!

Then there's the Spanish immersion school not even a full 2 blocks away. So close. There's something there for me in being able to walk to school - probably even alone soon - and stay right here in the neighborhood. So, so many things here are reminiscent of my German immersion school in MN, and while I do support immersion charter schools being a thing, the only way to show my support is to send my kid there. The kindergarten classrooms also had centers and lots of the things St. Andrew's has but somehow in a slightly less organized fashion. I don't want to send my son to the "most organized" school, though; that was just my personal, perhaps slightly obsessive preference that noticed this. To say something racist, sort of, I bet a group of Latinas would be exceptionally loving and warm to the children, and I'd love for Paul to learn another language -- that's kind of our thing. AND they don't do homework here. Which I whole-heartedly support.

I think I'm also emotionally invested in this decision in a completely subjective and biased way: if we send him, I'll miss him. I'll literally miss him, his growing, his life. Sure, I'd catch the snippets and highlights, but I wouldn't see how he interacts with friends or the ebb and flow of the day - what he liked and what maybe made him sad, how he got over that sadness. So is this something every mother of a kindergarten-aged child feels upon sending her child away from her? Is this just part of the "growing his wings" thing? Is this feeling of wanting to hang onto him a sheltering-type feeling? Or is there some deep-seated reason I'd so strongly like to keep him close? Would the school options be a negative for us in terms of expenses if St. Andrew's or staying in a bubble if the neighborhood school? Where do I find the answer!

We pray about it. That's the answer. Or, ideally, there would be a neighborhood, Catholic, half-day school. Yeah. Start that one, and I'll be first in line.

+ these two yahoos for good measure:

NOLA Knolls: Mardi Gras Edition

First a few non-Mardi Gras-related items that have happened in February, including but not limited to Jack's shooting up like a weed, Ada & Paul's Baptism anniversary days, and Aunt Mollie's wedding. We also used our MN snow sled on the grass in 70º ... it's be an unusually - and amazingly - warm and sunny February.

Plus he's crawling. And loves it.

 Her choice of mac-n-cheese, fried chicken & veggies.

Ginny & I doing our best impressions of all the little old ladies who sit back to watch and gossip about all the other little old ladies ... each appropriately drinking what she needs most.

Paul's Baptism anniversary day was the same day as Aunt Mollie and new Uncle Mickey's wedding, but we still managed to squeeze in his choice of spaghetti & meatballs later that night. Just no picture to prove it.

Next, a quick Pete-selfie enjoying? the king cake Mom & Dad had shipped to him in SC

Now to the Mardi Gras festivities! We spread them out quite a bit more this year than in years past because of the family's being in town for the wedding. So with Nana & Pappy, who hadn't been in New Orleans for a Mardi Gras parade in 30 years, we spent Sunday the 19th on St. Charles Ave watching Femme Fatale & Carrollton.

Then we made it out on the Wednesday night (for the first time because, hello, work night!) to see our good friend, Kelly, ride in her first parade as a member of NYX - the kids really had fun seeing their friends' mama on the float!

Then, we skipped our usual Friday night parade, Hermes, and one of Dylan's faves =/ , because doing it all just isn't possible, but Saturday morning brought with it the our-side-of-the-river parade, NOMTOC, and beautiful weather. That evening, we skipped the usually electrifying Endymion, thinking the night parades aren't the easiest with the little one anyway, and there was the horrible accident of a drunk driver in a pickup truck plowing through some of the crowd! Several were hurt, yes, but thank God no one died in that Mardi Gras parade!

Next on the list, because we had to do at least one more night parade, came Bacchus on Sunday night. The kids had a ball, quite literally, as the theme was 50 yrs of the Saints (football). 

NOLA baby

Monday was a little lower-keyed with Dylan baking a king cake and lots of prepping for Tuesday's big day! We had plans for an early morning for Zulu, followed by the best of them all: REX!

 

 

 All done!

We came home to sort through the loot & have a backyard fire and some black-eyed peas + king cake. Pretty good day.

January, man.

January 7th was the last time I, apparently, had a moment to reflect. Somehow, January 2017 brought even more unpredictability than the holiday season; maybe even moreso because we expect the holidays to be a bit crazy and look forward to the New Year to bring a little normalcy. Well. That went out the window!

First, for some baby updates: John Joseph weighs a ton and eats even more! That's him in a nutshell. He's got 4 teeth, eats all three meals with us, albeit smaller portions, but not at all "baby food"-like. He wants the peas, meatloaf, & mashed potatoes!

January of this year brought with it the death of a dear friend's young son, Drew. There's nothing I could possibly say about it that would be as graceful, meaningful, or faithful as what his mother, my friend, Heidi, has already said via their Caring Bridge site. Of course this is a most dreadful and hard time for the family, but she, Josh, and 5yo Molly are relying so much on God's grace, peace, and comfort that there's really nothing more than that to pray for, save that those things continue. Other than the actual sad business and reason for going, I enjoyed taking Jack along for his first trip to Minnesota. We revisited a little stomping ground from back in 2013-14 when Paul was a small toddler and where Ada was born, savored a few snowy moments, and cherished the time spent with Heidi, as well as sparked a new, deeper friendship with the family I stayed with! We'd known each other but weren't particularly close before, and her family was so wonderfully warm and welcoming, it made the whole reason for being there sting a bit less. Then, leaving, there was a snow storm that had me drive my rental back to the Cities to stay in a hotel for fear of not being able to leave Austin the next morning. Everything was on time.

Jack's first flight and an eating machine + our rental for the few days.

Awake and ready to play at 10pm instead of sleeping

Baby's First Snow!

 Woke up to only a few inches in Minneapolis vs. the 8-12 in Austin!

January of this year also brought my firstborn's 5th and my daughter's 3rd birthday. Paul's and Ada's birthday party was on Saturday the 21st (after which I boarded a plane to MN), and I flew back home on their actual birthday, the 25th. Nana, Pappy, Tante Ginny, & Uncle Ryan made the trip from Houston to share the weekend together, and then Nana & Pappy stayed on with Dylan and the kids while I was away. Paul had a chocolate cake with white icing in the shape of an "a" because last year he had "P" - do you see what he's doing? Next year he wants "u" and the next "l". Gotta love his persistence, right? I do love how naturally he saw the whole thing, like, duh, of course that's the cake I want! And Ada had a white cake with chocolate icing "wif a hole in it" - Bundt cake it is! They enjoyed some musical play time with a few of their friends here at the house, and we even tried an actual "birthday game": musical chairs was a half/half win, sorta, with the older ones getting it and the younger ones ... not. Funny.

And a little of the kids' busy-ness with Nana & Pappy:

With birthday money from Great-Nanna & Great-Poppa Nelson, Paul and Ada chose these gems:

And, lastly, January of this year has brought with it a bit of Mardi Gras celebration. Also known as King Cake Season. We've had at-least-weekly king cake, and it doesn't look like it's going to start slowing down, yet. I think I said something like this last year, and if I didn't, I thought it, but living here makes one almost yearn for Lent. Is that right? Hm... The neighborhood parade was cute, too, and Paul and Ada both wanted to watch it pass right in front of our house this year instead of walking in it, thank goodness! It was great fun to see. Followed by, what else, but King cake, of course! Dylan has also made the kids a parade ladder box, which is completely necessary for any parade longer than 10 minutes (ie, all of them.) Here's the box in progress, and I'm sure I'll show the finished product in snaps from Mardi Gras day.

The month was also rife with stellar sibling moments such as these:

But don't be fooled ... there were many (and probably even more) not-so-stellar moments, too, of course. Paul's new-found independence goes hand-in-hand with a streak of defiance where he knows the rules aren't that important; think "keep the door closed until Mama's ready to go" not "stay out of the street". So, he's not pushing the limits on where there's danger, just Mama, who he may, in fact, also agree is dangerous. He's excited about the fact that he can now cross (some) streets without holding on to an adult, and he's finally starting to grasp and love his bike. He's the best, best, best big brother to baby Jack, making him laugh when I need another minute with this or that, fetching things, and he loves that he's big and strong enough to pick him up and hold him all on his own. It's darling to see. To Ada, on the other hand, there's room for improvement... But he's still soft-hearted and shy to show it, imaginative and quick to want to explain it to us, he's shown quite some talent for little technical things like fixing things or putting pieces back together as well as talent for the piano. He sits down to tinker and finds out that Nana & Pappy's piano has the same song ours does, ha. He's also shown maturity in grasping hard concepts, like death, for example. Of course he's not where an adult would be, but he recognizes sadness, a loss, and the hope in Christ. Pretty neat in a barely 5 year old. 

Little Missy, here, swoops into our daily naptime with her "Idon'twantto"s, and the whole house loses it. If she wants to have a tantrum, and I mean high-pitched wailing, she's just got to get to the end of it before there's any peace. Dylan and I have tried a myriad of techniques and approaches, but she's just got to work through it with time. Doesn't sound too different from infant-Ada, in fact, when we just didn't know why she was crying?! She's fed, she's dry, she's not even sleepy, she's just. screaming. Now we know, it's just Ada wanting to scream-cry. Sigh. The only difference nowadays is that it does usually happen when's she's tired. Anyway, that's pretty well the only negative she's got on her right now because she's so, so lovely, and funny, and creative, and talkative, and silly. She's amazing to watch, and she even likes you to do so (unlike big P who'll stop what he's doing if he catches you watching). Ada France is ready to nurse any new baby she receives (as gifts, dolls, of course), and she wants to be good to Jack, though her self-control and strength aren't quite where she'd like them to be. She is also kind and quick to want to pray for someone who needs it.

They're pretty amazing little ones. 

I wouldn't change a thing <3

And I'll leave you with with some shots from our beloved Mini Art Center:

Last last last thing: this morning, what would've been my Mammaw Tormey's 106th birthday, my best good high school friend welcomed her firstborn daughter into the world. Beautiful.