


And then this + that photo up there of Paul, which was also post-beach:
Finally, a friend is shifting from full-time stay-at-home-momming to part-time work outside the home. She's been perfectly content, happy even, being at home, and she openly shares that she feels it's been the right thing for her & children. She's well-educated & qualified & & &, and then someone sought her out, interviewed her, and offered her the job all within a week or so. She's accepted, and she's excited about this new shift, happy that it's part-time, and hopeful about the balance it will bring her own sense of well-being. All of that is wonderful, and I've encouraged her to pray about it and follow her heart from the time she first told me. It's 2 comments on her facebook thread that got me thinking about what I want (... and how I have it!) How what we want really is different, with no single right way to go about balancing parenting & working. Two working moms chimed in to congratulate this friend on her job offer, naming one small thing they like about being working-moms. 1. No one talks to me while drinking my morning coffee. 2. No one wants to go to the bathroom with me at work. Encouraging, I get it, and true, too; but not what I want. Those words, twice, no one, really hit me. I want someone to talk to me over my coffee that gets cold. Yes, of course there are times when I would love to drink it up hot but not enough to exchange the squeaky voices and spills. A little privacy in the bathroom is also nice; not what I want. I want someone to miss me so badly for the 1 minute it's taken him (or her, at the moment!) to notice I went missing that s/he comes in grinning, showing me a toy. In fact, I've just started announcing when I'm going so as to avoid the "Mama! Where are you!" shouts, and we all just go together. Perhaps I'm naïvely thinking Little Miss will get even more interested than she already is in what's going on. (Sidenote: she sits on the toilet. Just to sit. "Do you want to tinkle?" "Mmhm." <2 seconds> "Done?" "Mmhm.") Parents have different reasons for choosing to work or choosing to stay with the kids, and maybe it's that what my work would be isn't invaluable like some professions; but there would have to be a pretty unique set of circumstances for me to accept a position at NinetoFive again. - - - Then I shared some of these thoughts with Dylan. He's nodding, and mhmming, and when I got to the bit about "I wouldn't trade hot coffee for their voices", he says, "Tell me about it." <mic drop> I wasn't thinking about him at. all. with any of this. I was thinking solely about women choosing to go to work, despite the fact that their husbands are earning sufficiently, yadda, yadda, yadda ... I'd completely forgotten about him in this thought-rant, and about how what he's doing is, of course, choice, but combined with necessity, and I got teary and hugged him and thanked him for what he does for us.